Chapter 2: Girls and Boys are Different
SIECUS:
-recommends sex is consensual, non-exploitative, honest, pleasurable, and protected
-guidelines for “responsible sexual behavior”
-they omit the fact that sex with or without latex is a profound, lifelong consequences, and that girls are different from boys
-female brains is predisposed to yearn for connection, communication, and approval
-female chemistry promotes attachment and trust
-female wiring minimizes her partners shortcomings to take risks
-females have a unique physiological vulnerability to intimate behavior
**her expectations can be wrong; rejection can be unbearable
Comprehensive Sex ED:
-means: “covering much; broad; all-inclusive”
-SIECUS’s Guidelines for Comprehensive Sex Education
-contraception, abortion, sexually transmitted infections, HIV/AIDS, sexual fantasies, masturbation, sexuality and media, and gender role stereotypes
-Guidelines:
We are all sexual from cradle to grave
We must celebrate the diversity of sexual expression
We must speak openly of these issues in the first years of life
-sexuality is a central part of being human
Bikini Approach:
-At age five: girls and boys have many similarities and very few differences
-At age nine (4th grade): people receive unequal or negative treatment because of their gender
-In middle school: accepting gender role stereotypes can limit a person’s life
-In high school: gender role stereotypes can lead to problems for both men and women
Ex. poor body image, low aspirations, low paying jobs, relationship conflict, stress-related illnesses, anxiety about sexual performance, sexual harassment, and date rape
Scent of a Man:
-pheromones are external messengers
-pheromones are made in the male underarm
-women respond to the smell of male pheromones
-hormones are internal messengers; carried in the blood from one organ to another
Ex. stomach to brain = hungry, brain to bones = growth, testes to skin = hair growth & acne
Female brains differ from males:
-skilled at communication, observation, and processing of emotion
-adept in gathering information from faces and tone of voice
-connecting with others and having their approval are priorities early in life
-puberty matures the brain
-more intuitive and averse to interpersonal conflicts
-estrogen surges the brain thrives
-interpersonal connections strengthen
-language explodes (chatting for hours no problem)
-interconnections is her expertise
-teens have small amount of testosterone to help with growth of glands and ovaries
-hormones flux with the phases of menstrual cycles
-females feel self-confident and outgoing one day and then irritable and fat on another day
-surges of testosterone is 25 times stronger in male teens over female teens
-females seek trust, sensitivity and non-sexual intimacy
-males hormones and testosterone levels overlook the vulnerability of females (not malicious but just different wiring)
The Cuddle Hormone:
“Don’t let a guy hug you unless you plan to trust him.” Dr. Brizendine, Neuropsychiatrist
-also termed as the hormone of love
-touching builds trust and attachment
-kissing is an intimate behavior strengthening bonds
-Oxytocin-neuro-chemical messengers that promotes social bonds, a craving to have contact
-Oxytocin amps up the reward center and fuels attachment
-Oxytocin is released heavily during sexual bonding
-Oxytocin mixed with hormones is like liquid trust
-both mixed together can impair your judgment
-what happens in the moment has long-term consequences
“Intimate behaviors break down emotional barriers, especially in women, increasing their vulnerability.”
-truth: the first thing children should learn about sexuality is we are hardwired for close, lasting attachments
-Lie: sexuality is about physical pleasure
-truth: biological needs can be very intense
-truth: having sex sends signals to the brain “Now I’m with someone special, so I can relax and trust this person, so I can love him or her.”
-comprehensive sex education promotes specific social agendas (unethical & hazardous)
***Biological truths have been omitted by the sex ed industry