Showing posts from November, 2020
It is Thanksgiving and I thought about how grateful I am for the healing process. Even with all the lock downs, I had a window to visit family. I know it is a small thing, but I was able to put on make-up. Just touching the left side of my face would pulse electricity and pain so I just gave up on make-up. I thought, okay just try, and as I brushed I felt a tingle, but no way stopping me. Mascara and eyeliner, Yes! Slight itching, but hair cooperated too. Those who have a long-term illness or disability can understand my mile stone. Seems superficial, but so much happiness in small things we take for granted. The miracle is that I can see and there is no permanent damage to the left side of my face. Shingles is no fun, but each day I get stronger and am so in awe each day I get up to appreciate my walk. I am back to jogging. I understand why I like it. I am in competition with myself. I push 10 more steps to 10 more feet, etc...I find the better I feel the more I want to run in celebr
I am torn between being on the wrong side of shame. The world will push insults until you cancel yourself and it celebrates in your failures. God does not use your shame to expose you. I can grow when I accept and understand that God believes in me and wants to see my full potential fulfilled. It has been hard for me to understand the backlash I read on social media between whom I thought were Christians. I really like these people, but my view has been tainted as I read through the negative critical and absolute disgusting racially dividing comments. In those comments, there seemed to be no shame with the name calling. Where did Christianity go? Where did the 1 st two commandments go? No other Gods before me and not make idols. It seems politics has become the idol that has cracked and broken the Christian faith that I love and want to represent. I feel there is a shaming even between God’s believers and I wonder which side I will find myself. Silent, avoid, quit, or just closed off
  I looked at the word doubt today. Had several conversations this week with family and they all are at points where they are questioning themselves, their relationship with God, and even why they have to travel the path of life they are on. They are hard on themselves and/or just admitting they are struggling with their faith. Doubt can be very concrete where you know a person lies over and over and eventually you doubt that person is telling the truth like the story of the boy who cried wolf. (Might be dating myself-if you don’t know read the story). Doubt can also be emotional where life comes at you hard and you just don’t understand all the downs in life. It makes no sense and draws all your energy and that doubt seems to hold you captive in the middle of holding to that faith or pushing you away from your faith. The message at church today seemed to tie into in all of my conversations this week. He spoke about that doubt indicated you have faith in your life. It is revealing that