The Coddling of the American Mind Chapter 9: The Decline of Play

 Chapter 9: The Decline of Play 

***play is essential for wiring a mannal’s brain to create a functioning adult

Experiment: rat pups raised in one of these conditions:

1-totally alone in a cage

2-alone except for one hour a day with a normal, playful young rat, during which time normal rough-and tumble play occurred

3-same as condition 2, except that the visiting young rat was treated with a drug that knocked out the rough-and-tumble play while leaving other social behaviors, such as sniffling and nuzzling

The young pups were then put into new situation:

-those that had engaged in rough-and-tumble play showed fewer signs of fearfulness and engaged in more exploration of the new environment

Key Concepts:

-from development biology is “experience-expectant development”

-human beings have 22,000 genes, but our brains have approximately 100 billion neurons, with hundreds of trillions of synaptic connections 

-Genes are essential for getting the various cell lines started in the embryo

-genes guide the brain development toward a “first draft” in utero

-But experience matters 

-the brain includes a strong motivation to practice behaviors that will give the brain the right kind of feedback to optimize itself for success in the environment that happens to surround it

-the genes get the ball running on the development of brain structures for language, but the child must encounter and practice language to finish the process therefore motivated to engage in back-and-forth reciprocal exchanges with others in order to get that input

Children:

-it is fun for them to exchange sounds, and later, real words, with other people

-a child who is deprived of these linguistic interactions until puberty would be unable to fully acquire a language or learn to speak normally, having missed the “critical period” for language learning which is part of the normal developmental process

-it’s the same logic for physical and social skills such as:

1-fleeing from predators

2-negotiating conflicts and cooperation

-the brain is expecting the child to engage in thousands of hours of play

-this includes thousands of falls, scrapes, conflicts, insults, alliances, betrayals, status competitions, and acts of expulsion

-children who are deprived of play are less likely to develop into physically and socially competent teens and adults

Research:

-there is a link of play deprivation to later anxiety and depression

-anxious children may elicit overprotective behavior from others 

-reinforcing the child’s perception of threat decreases their perception of controlling the danger

-overprotection results in exaggerated levels of anxiety

-overprotection through governmental control of playgrounds and exaggerated fear of playground accidents results in an increase of anxiety in society

-we need to provide more stimulating environments for children, rather than hamper their development 

***parenting practices should offer kids more time for free play

The Decline of Free Play:

“Free play” is “activity that is freely chosen and directed by the participants and undertaken for its own sake, not consciously pursued to achieve ends that are distinct from the activity itself.”

-all play is not equal

-vigorous physical free play–outdoors, and with other kids–is crucial kind of play, one that our evolved minds are “expecting”

-it is also important for kids to have imaginative or pretend play

-free play introduces kids to danger and risk like climbing walls and trees, or skateboarding down staircases and railings

***dosing kids with moderate degrees of fear, as if deliberately learning how to deal with both the physical and emotional challenges of the moderately dangerous conditions they generate

-Unfortunately, outdoor physical play is the kind that has declined the most in the lives of American children

-indoor activities involving a computer does not build physical strength and is not as effective at building psychological resilience or social competence 

-iGen shows that the drop in free play has accelerated

-iGen spends less time going out with friends, more time interacting with parents, and much more time interacting with screens 

-screen time is a form of social interaction, but can have negative effects

-iGen have less unsupervised free play

-they have been deprived of opportunities to experience risk

-this generation is programmed to avoid all risk at all times

-they will see ordinary life tasks as beyond their ability to handle on their own without help from an adult

-these kids have high anxiety and depression on school and college campuses

Childhood has become a Test Prep:

1979

- when asked if your child ready for 1st grade it focused on physical and emotional maturation and independence

-kindergarten was devoted mostly to social interactions and self directed play with instruction in art, music, numbers, and the alphabet 

-kindergarten classrooms would be organized to build social relationships and facilitate hands-on exploration (such as blocks and LIncoln Logs) and Imaginative and symbolic play (such as store or housekeeping corner with props and costumes)

-the structure was a a half day

-consited of open-ended free play, snack, singing songs with rhyming words for a little oral language exposure, a story, art projects, and sorting games or block building for math awareness 

Today:

-when asked if your child is ready for 1st grade it focused on 30 items of academic content 

-kindergarten is a much more structured and sedentary 

-children spend more time sitting at their desks receiving direct instruction in academic subjects

-this is known as “drill and skill”

-this method if effective to communicate academic information to older children, but they are not appropriate for use with young children

-this method produces negative effects on creativity as well as social and emotional development

-there is far more time spent on advanced reading and mat content

-childrens’ days are now more rigidly structured

-opportunities for self-direction, social exploration, and scientific discovery are increasingly being lost 

-direct instruction in the core curriculum is driven by the school’s focus on preparing children to meet state testing requirements

-the sole focus is to prepare the student to be able to qualify for college 

The Resume Race:

-given the fierce competition, parents in some social circles convey a sense of panic about children’s grades, even in middle school

-if they don’t get an A in sixth-grade math, it means they won’t get into Stanford

-the college admissions process nowadays makes it harder for high school students to enjoy school and pursue intrinsic fulfillment

-the process “warps” the values of students drawn into a competitive frenzy and jeopardizes their mental health 

-this high level of stress has led to  suicide clusters at highly competitive high school

Ex. 2015, 95% of students at Lexington High School in Massachusetts reported “a lot of stress” or “extreme stress”

-students are prepared academically, but they are not prepared to deal with day-to-day life 

Childhood as Democracy Prep: the consequences of a liberal democracy

-the effects of play deprivation and oversupervision may extend far beyond college

-there must be an education on self-governing in communities to resolve conflicts peacefully

“Successful democracies do this by developing a variety of institutions and norms that enable people with different goals and conflicting desires to resolve their problems while rarely appealing to the police or the state to coerce their fellow citizens. This is the art of association.” 

-it takes years to cultivate these skills and are learned during free play

“Denying children the freedom to explore on their own takes away important learning opportunities that help them to develop not just independence and responsibility, but a whole variety of social skills that are central to living with others in a free society.”

-parenting strategies and laws make it harder for kids to play on their own

-kids are not learning how to figure it out for themselves

-kids are not taught how to figure out how to solve conflicts on their own

-when conflicts arise, a third party intervenes invoking forced consequences

-2013: administrators and professors are regulated on what they can say

-2013: administrators and professors can’t say who gets to speak  on campus

-to promote antifragility kids need to learn how to deal with painful experiences that will make them better people 

Points:

-when you are treated unfairly, you lean the value of justice

-when you suffer betrayal, you learn the importance of loyalty

-when you feel lonely, you learn to not take your friends for granted

-when you have bad luck, you are conscious of the role of chance in life

-you need to learn that failure of others is not completely deserved either

-when you lose, your opponent may gloat over your failure, but you come to understand the importance of sportsmanship 

-when you are ignored, you learn the importance of listening to others

-when you experience just enough pain, you learn compassion

In Sum:

-there has been a huge decline of unsupervised free play

-children need free play in order to finish the intricate wiring process of neural development

-the decline of free play is driven by several factors

-the rise of smartphones and social media has impacted how children spend their time

-children are missing out on the kinds of physical and social experiences that guide the intricate wiring process of neural development

-free play helps children develop skills of cooperation and dispute resolution that are closely related to the “art of association”

The Coddling of the American Mind Chapter 8: Paranoid Parenting

 Chapter 8: Paranoid Parenting

“So many teens have lost the ability to tolerate distress and uncertainty, and a big reason for that is the way we parent them.” Kevin Ashworth

-parents allowing kids to learn independence are more often condemned today and blasted out on social media to intensify the outrage 

Ex. allowing a pre-teen to walk the part 3 block from their home in a gated community

Ex. allowing a teen to take public transportation

Modern Parenting:

-the paranoia and overprotection that has become normal features of American parenting

-we all should take reasonable precautions to protect our children’s physical safety

-we should not submit to the pull of safetyism which is overestimating danger, fetishizing safety, and not accepting any risk

-avoiding all risk as kids, to teens, to college students makes them more and more fragile and not equipped to stand in the world on their own as independent individuals

-iGen (born in 1995 and later) are having very different childhoods

-they suffer from higher levels of depression and anxiety

-in response, the rise of safetyism on college campuses has sky rocketed 

-modern parenting practices may unwittingly teach children the Great Untruths

-schools co-parent into the culture of safetyism

-there has been a shift to this more fearful and overprotective way of treating children

-there has been consequences to oversupervision which has prevented kids from growing strong and independent

A Parent’s Worst Fear:

-in the news, there is nothing worse then reading or watching a story of a child who has been harmed who was out of the sight of a parent/guardian

-that fear of “what could happen” or “that could have been my child” can be overwhelming

-but isolating a kid out of the fear of being harmed can also be harming as social media has its dark side that can infiltrate the mind of a kid

Actual Versus Imagined Risk:

-parents of iGen were raised were far more dangerous then they are today

-Baby Boomers and Gen-Zers grew up with rising rates of crime and mayhem

-Muggings were a normal part of urban life

-TV brought round-the-clock coverage of missing child cases in the 1980s so it is understandable that American parents grew fearful and defensive by the 1990s

-the new habits of fearful parenting seem to have become new national norms

-today, the extreme forms of safetyism are prevalent

-we do understand a mother’s fear that her son might encounter a pervert in a public restroom

***it would be better to teach the boy to recognize perverted or inappropriate bathroom behavior so he can get away from it on those very rare occasions when he might encounter it

Instead:

-teaching the boy to fear for his life and must maintain verbal contact with a parent every time he needs to use a public restroom

The Dangers of Safetyism:

Past Generations:

-1970s laugh at the safety concerns of today’s parents and to point out when they grew up, nobody wore seat belts or bike helmets, and most adults smoked (even around children), paint and gasoline were leaded, and children were encouraged to go-on their own- to parks and playgrounds, and kids returned home with the street lights came on in the neighborhood

-the tone can be mocking and dismissive of parenting today even though there has been life saving safety measures put in place like bike helmets and seat belts, smoking restrictions, removing lead prevents medical problems and deaths, so they all have saved many lives

***the success of childhood safety campaigns helps explain why modern parents often take a concern about safety to the extreme of safetyism

-when we attempt to produce perfectly safe systems, we almost inevitably create new and unforeseen problems 

-safety rules and programs, like most efforts to change complex systems

-protections come with costs, as kids miss the opportunities to learn skills, independence, and risk assessment

“The problem with this ‘everything is dangerous’ outlook is that over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself”

-Antifragile, by placing a protective shield over our children, we inadvertently stunt their growth and deprive them of experiences they need to become successful and function adults

“Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the bums out of life for their children. However, parental hyperconcern has the net effect of making kids more fragile.”

***Most parents know this on some level but still find themselves hovering and overprotecting

-the blame for creating the culture of safetyism does not fall entirely on individual parents

-at a fundamental level, overparenting and safetyism are “problem of progress” along with having less kids makes parent hyper-actively engaged in overprotecting children

-parents spending time with their kids is generally a good thing, but too much close supervision and protection can morph into safetyism

-children are antifragile by nature and turns them into young adults who are more fragile and anxious, so receptive to the Untruth of Fragility

***What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker 

Pressured into Overprotection:

-most parents condemn helicopter parenting

-many parents want to do less hovering and give their kids more freedom

-this is not so easy when parents are pressured by other parents, schools, and even laws that push parents to be more protective than they would like to be 

-societal pressure often prompt parents to engage in “Worst-first Thinking”

-parents are always preparing for the worst possible outcomes

***Good parents are expected to believe that their children are in danger every moment they are unsupervised 

Ex. parents who reject overparenting and give their kids more freedom can actually be arrested

2015- 2 Florida parents were charged with felony child neglect when they were delayed getting home 

-the son couldn't get into the house so he played basketball in the driveway

-a neighbor called the police 

-the parents were arrested for negligence 

-the boy and his 4 year-old brother were put in foster care for a month

-even after being returned, the children were required to attend “play” therapy

Ex. parent left her daughter alone in her care while she went into a CVS pharmacy

2014- a passerby called the police who were able to open the car door

-the police reported the child was “responsive” and not in distress

-the girl was 11 years old and she had told her mom she wanted to just stay in the car

***Before paranoid parenting, eleven-year-olds could earn money and learn responsibility by baby sitting for neighbors

-busybodies are monitoring if 11 year-olds need babysitters 

-the mother was issued a misdemeanor summons and forced to appear in court

-when the police endorse they type of safetyism, it forces parents to overprotect

Ex. Police Chief in New Albany, Ohio advises that children should not be allowed outside without supervision until the age of 16

***when you combine peer pressure, shaming, and the threat of arrest, so no wonder parents simply don’t let their kids out of their sight anymore

***only reading safe books for safe kids

-at one time most great children’s books involve kids going off on adventures without adult supervision

-for parents who don’t want to put dangerous ideas in their kids’ heads 

Ex. Dora the Explorer (can be read but only with a parent)

Class Matters:

-with respect to parenting practices, social class matters far more than race

Define:

-middle class means middle class and above, including the upper class

-working class means below middle class including poor families 

Homes:

-children raised by two parents who each have four-year-college degrees and are married to each other throughout their children’s childhood (upper third of the socioeconomic spectrum)

-these families parenting style is “concerted cultivation”

-their task as cultivating their children’s talents while stimulating the development of their cognitive and social skills

-they fill their children’s calendar with adult guided activities, lessons, and experiences, and they closely monitor what happens in school 

-children are raised by a single or divorced parent (or other relative) who does not have a four-year-college degree (bottom third of the socioeconomic spectrum)

-these families parenting style is “natural growth parenting”

-working-class parents tend to believe that children will reach maturity without needing much guidance or interference for adults

-children will reach maturity without needing much guidance or interference from adults

-children experience long stretches of leisure time, child-initiated play, clear boundaries between adults and children, and daily interactions with kin 

-parents spend less time talking with their children 

-parents give more orders and directives

-kids get more unstructured and unsupervised play time 

-kids have good developing social skills and a sense of autonomy

iGen:

-college students are acting differently from previous generations

-middle class iGen (late Millennial) students were overscheduled and overparented as children

-working-class kids are therefore more likely to feel like “fish out of water” in college

Anti-fragility:

-severe adversity that hits kids early, especially in the absence of secure and loving attachment relationships with adults, does not make them stronger; it makes them weaker

-chronic, severe adversity creates “toxic stress”

-it resets children’s stress responses to kick in more readily and for longer periods in the future 

Moderate Stress:

-there needs to be a balance

-it needs to be buffered by supportive adults

-parents need to know the difference between stress that promotes the development of coping, address challenges, and solve problems

VS.

-children experiencing toxic stress have trouble concentrating, controlling impulse behavior, and following directions

College Campuses Mixture:

-students’ brains are shaped differently

-those bringing with them toxic stress may need different kinds of support as they bring with them all the scars and disadvantages with them

-those bringing with them concerted cultivation have been intensively monitored by an adult so bring a needy sense of security 

-they bring very different ways of damage and development

-one may bring underprotected qualities

-one may bring overmonitored and overprotective qualities 

***overparenting is probably a much greater cause of fragility on such campuses than is underparenting 

Safe and Unwise:

-paranoid parenting and the cult of safetyism teach kids some of the specific cognitive distortions

-parents discounting positives when parents overmonitor

“Any upside to free, unsupervised time (joy, independence, problem-solving, resilience) is seen as trivial, compared to the infinite harm the child could suffer without you there. There is nothing positive but safety.”

-parents also use negative filtering by saying, “look at all the foods/activities/words/people that could harm our kids 

***parents use dichotomous thinking: “If something isn’t 100% safe, it’s dangerous.”

3 Untruths: Us vs. Them, Emotional Reasoning, Fragility

-Paranoid parenting: to convince children that the whole world is full of danger; evil lurks in the shadows, on the streets, and in public parks and restrooms

-kids raised in this way are emotionally prepared to embrace the (Untruth of Us Versus Them): Life is a battle between good people and evil people

-this worldview that makes them fear and suspect strangers

-this teaches children to monitor themselves for the degree to which they “feel unsafe” and then talk about unsafe they feel

-they come to believe that “feeling’ unsafe (the feeling of being uncomfortable or anxious) is a reliable sign that they are unsafe (the Untruth of Emotional Reasoning): Always trust your feelings

-feeling these emotions is unpleasant; the feelings are dangerous in and of themselves–stress will harm them if it doesn’t kill them (The untruth of Fragility: What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker)

***these are schemas that guide the way they interpret new situations in high school and college 

-they see more danger in their environment and more hostile intent in the actions of others

-they are more likely than kids in previous generations to believe  that they should flee or avoid anything that could be construed as even a minor threat

-they are more likely to interpret words, books, and ideas in terms of safety versus danger, or good versus evil, 

***college campuses increase of requests for safe spaces, trigger warnings, microaggression training, and bias response teams 

***difficult to see how this way of thinking could produce well-educated, bold, and open-minded college graduates 

In Sum:

-when we overprotect children we harm them

-children are naturally antifragile

-children today have far more restricted childhoods 

-iGen (born after 1995) have been deprived of unsupervised time for play and exploration

-they have missed out on many of the challenges, negative experiences, and minor risks that help children develop into strong, competent, and independent adults 

-when children are repeatedly led to believe that the world is dangerous and that they cannot face it alone

-helicopter parenting combined with laws and social norms that make it hard to give kids unsupervised time may be having a negative impact on the mental health and resilience of young people today

-there is a large social class differences in parenting styles

-there is a difference between “concerted cultivation” and “natural growth parenting”

-paranoid parenting prepares today’s children to embrace the the three Great Untruths 

Posted Facebook Posts: 2 Timothy 3 What did you expect the end times to look like?

 At church this past Sunday was a much needed wake up call in that our country today has rejected the moral authority of God. We are in perilous times being ruled by perilous men/women. Today’s society follows the world’s demands instead of God’s commands. Morality has become subjective while many churches have succumbed to appearing religious, but has no true submission to His word.

Let’s reflect on what Jesus said in Matthew 24 as he described the signs of the times and the end of the age. There is no nation that is beyond God’s accountability. There is no more time to be just a casual Christian. Jesus outlines what was foretold by Daniel the prophet in the Old Testament. He speaks to what the great tribulation will entail. But then he moves to words of comfort to know that He will return for his children. All who believe he died for our sins, resurrected, and will be coming back again. The warning is we do not know when He will return, but we are to be watchful so we can be prepared to remain faithful in the midst of it. God will eventually give the nations up to their evil.

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen” (Romans 1: 24-25).

The apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 3:
The warning:
1-warns us that this is the age where evil becomes aggressive where men will be lovers of themselves and pleasure
2-describes people not politics is the problem because when men reject the authority of God we become the authority.
-people know of God but refuse to honor Him as God
3-the warnings are personal requiring of believers to have Biblical discernment
4-people will exploit the spirituality of others, corrupt minds will resist truth, and there will be disapproval concerning faith
The shift:
5-do not follow the deceived as they deceive many
6-we are called to be a man/woman of God holding fast to doctrine, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, and perseverance
7-Paul connects to Timothy’s humanity by recounting his own life and how he discerned the cost as he confesses how the Lord delivered him
-we are not guaranteed from suffering but we are delivered through hardships
-persecution will come, but be wise to the evil
8-Paul tells Timothy to watch out for evil men and impostors
-to demonstrate your convictions even if it is costly
-we must continue in what we have learned: salvation = faith = Jesus Resurrection= His Return
-stay in the battle by holding fast to the Scriptures
-stay faithful in prayer
-remember that scripture is the strength and fortitude you can draw from as there is where truth will be found

Everything originates with God:
-Doctrine: the Bible is that authoritative guidance that shapes a person’s beliefs and daily lifestyle. True Biblical doctrine comes from God as an authoritative revelation of His character, will, and truth. Biblical doctrine is foundational: the nature and character of God (including the Trinity), human creation, sin, and the fall, salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, the work of the Holy Spirit and the life of the church, and Christ’s return and future redemption
-Reproof: means exposing sin, faulty beliefs, or straying behavior with clear evidence so a person recognizes they are wrong. Rather than harsh shaming, its purpose is to bring conviction and lead someone back to truth
-Correction: means restoring something that has fallen down or setting a crooked path straight again. Reproof points out what is wrong, correction provides the actionable repair needed to bring a person’s life or beliefs back into alignment with God’s truth
-Instruction: means ongoing, disciplined education that shapes a person’s character, habits, and daily behavior. Doctrine lays out the truth, instruction is the hands-on coaching that teaches a believer how to live out that truth consistently over time.

In 2 Timothy 3:16, the Greek work for instruction is paideia. In the ancient world, paideia referred to the complete upbringing, tutoring, and physical training of a child into a mature adult.

***Learn to live in the world but do not be of the world

Our country is at a crossroad so where do we go from here? Who is this Jesus to you?

It is essential that we look at the spiritual state of our nation. One of the most famous quotes by a Founding Father regarding the necessity of morality and religion for the state is from John Adams in an October 11, 1798 address to the militiamen of Massachusetts.

“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious People. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

George Washington (Farewell Address, 1796) declared religion and morality to be “indispensable supports” for political prosperity and human happiness.

James Madison asserted that republican government necessitates sufficient virtue for self-government, otherwise requiring the “chains of despotism” to prevent chaos.

The concluding sentence of the Declaration of Independence, adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776:

“And for the support of the Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”

The pledge fifty-six men signed knowingly committing an act of treason against Great Britain. If the revolution failed, they faced arrest, trial, and execution by hanging. The reality is many signers paid a heavy personal toll of imprisonment, ruined health, or the destruction and loss of their homes and estates during the war.

Beyond physical survival and material wealth, the term “sacred honor” meant staking their personal integrity, public reputation, and moral standing before the world, pledging that they would rather face total ruin than break their word or abandon the fight for self-governance.

Prayers for our nation. Prayers for what we pass down to the next generation. Prayers for steadfastness under all circumstances. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4: 7).

Blessings,
dreamsdontfade.com

I heard this song and it is just perfect for a time such as this. Jeremy Camp’s “Shaky Ground”

When all the world
Seems to pierce my soul
And fear and doubt they take control
Your tenderness it pulls me through
Your healing touch it makes me new

Even when I fall on shaky ground my heart will sing
Even when my strength it can’t be found my heart will sing
My heart will sing it is well
It is well with my soul

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdAa4S9vKT4&list=RDzdAa4S9vKT4&start_radio=1