Tanya Attebery
27 February 2022
Leadership 101: The Central Way
https://www.life.church/chazown/ (Here is the link to the videos, study guide, and book for you to find your won Chazown)
“Chazown”
Spiritual Autobiography
Introduction
“The
definition of identity is who you are, the way you think about yourself, the
way you are viewed bAy the world and the characteristics that define you” (www.yourdictionary.com). The
key is that it is in Christ alone that we find our true identity. Chazown is a
Hebrew word that means dream, revelation or vision. The author explains it is
my driving force. In the book, one key thought is “everyone ends up somewhere.
But few people end up somewhere on purpose” (Groeschel, 6). Jesus knew his
vision which was to seek and save the lost by laying his life down as it was
not taken or stolen, but given. God provides me with my unique vision to
fulfill the purpose of my life. He works in me to develop a realistic plan so I
work toward living out that purpose. My chazown gives me direction so that my
passions and desires become purposeful with time. It brings my past and future
into my present so I live an intentional life. Groeschel had me search deeply
into three areas of my life: my core values, my spiritual gifts, and my past
experiences. It is where these areas intersect that I found my chazown. Core
values are the truths that are hardwired inside of me found deep within my
soul. This was difficult process because the author has you look at what stirs
inside of me that I would lay down my lift for.
Top 5 Core Values
My 1st
core value is authenticity because regardless of pressure I cannot deny that I
am a child of God. I would not be able to compromise in my faith or keep my
belief in Jesus hidden. I struggled for many years with needing the approval of
people, but today I believe God has softened my heart to truly value myself as
I do others because of the relationship I have gained through accepting Jesus
as my personal savior. “Though you have not seen
him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him
and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the
end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (Life Application Study
Bible, 1 Peter 1: 8). Peter’s faith
was refined through persecution and he set himself as an example to others how
to take up the cross by living a holy lifestyle. Not filled with laws and rituals
but sincere love for one another. God’s love and forgiveness was freely given
so they needed to take their eyes off themselves and start being selfless, self-centered,
and instead meet the needs of others. This was the true sacrifice when a man
lays down his life for others. Peter saw great joy in persecution “as you come
to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to
him” (1 Peter 2:4). Jesus was the foundation and new believers were now the
building stones of the church. Peter tells his flock to humbly obey God
regardless of present circumstances and in good time he will lift them up, so
to carry each other’s burdens and struggles together so when the attacks come
they can be “alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a
roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the
faith because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is
undergoing the same kind of sufferings” (Peter 1: 8-9).
My 2nd
core value is education. One question that the author asked is what makes me
righteously angry. Nothing gets me angrier than what our education system has
done to corrupt the minds of our next generation. When identity is fully erased can you have a
true identity? To be inclusive is to be
unidentifiable as an individual. Individual identity is confining. Stability
only comes from acceptance of one’s fluidity. One must move toward a
self-defined, fluid identity that reflects the worldview of group conformity
that gender shouldn’t exist. This new world evolution is the most powerful
catalysts of the inadequacy of what defines a male and female. As with the
student example, he expresses his misery and an inability to connect with
himself or his family. He redefines his name as a way to attain some sense of
control, but it is a false sense of security. His identity becomes an excuse
for his behavior instead of having personal responsibility for his own actions.
He is conforming himself to the emptiness of the worldview that man doesn’t
need God physically, mentally, or spiritually. Conformity demands control over
behaviors and responses which reprograms people into a new morality. “The new morality aims at those who have not solidly
established their values and who are therefore vulnerable to a time of
questioning as they seek to develop their own identity” (Feazel & Swain,
23). Even those who didn’t grow up with the
Bible or religion still innately know right from wrong and have a sense of good
vs. bad. This push of new morality is that man is the “ruler of his own domain
with his experience and knowledge” (Feazel & Swain, 36). The world view
promotes that there is no natural moral law inside of a person. People can be
devoted to their own selfish desires, lacking boundaries, no concern for
others, and willing to trample on others to get to what they want. The
worldview has influenced students through indoctrination where the belief
system is not supported by any evidence and the receiver is supposed to just
accept as truth without question or critical thinking discussions. It is the
act of forcing ideas and opinions and no one is allowed to question or voice an
object. My hope and prayer is that I can reveal God’s character through my own
behavior and how I respond to others. “Do not conform to the pattern of this
world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able
to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For
by grace given me I say to every one of you; Do not think of yourself more
highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in
accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you” (Romans 12: 2-3).
My 3rd
core value is unity. The church has a responsibility to equip its congregation
with the spiritual tools and weaponry to give them courage to proclaim the
gospel but to also not compromise truth. Refutation is recognizing and taking
action against what is not right in the culture of this world. “For though we
live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight
with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power
to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets
itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to
make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of
disobedience, once your obedience is complete” (2 Corinthians 10:3-6).
My 4th
core value is purposeful. It is
important to understand that groups tried to box Jesus in politically and
socially, but he would not allow it. Jesus never swayed from his purpose which
was to bring the gospel and share with people the Kingdom of God not liberalism
or socialism or Marxism. Jesus wouldn’t permit his character to be defined by
socio-political ideologies. Jesus told his disciples to feed his sheep because
Jesus himself was the shepherd willing to lay down his life for his flock. The
-isms are moving society away from Christianity to many forms of secular
religions. These -isms entice people who “want to belong to groups, including
ethnic, racial, religious, and economic groups. People find identity, commonality,
My 5th
core value is exhortation. The
purpose of the church is to stand firm in God’s words in truth ready to battle
against the darkness that wants to eliminate freedom. The freedom that Jesus
provided on the cross when he gave a path for us to have the courage to not
compromise his truth. “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be
prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the
hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience,
so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be
ashamed of their slander. For it is better, it it is God’s will, to suffer for
doing good than for doing evil” (1 Peter 3: 15-17). It is time to
take for the church to take on the armor of God. “Finally, be strong in the
Lord and in his might power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take
your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:10-11).
3 Spiritual Gifts
Exhortation
“The
body of Christ is also universal. All ethnic and social barriers have been
removed” (Erickson, 396). Paul addressed this by announcing that “in this new
life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or
uncircumcised, barbaric uncivilized, slave or free. Christ is all that matters,
and he lives in all of us” (Colossians 3:11). The heart of ministry must be
actively proclaiming the gospel. The apostle Paul insisted that the gospel was
absolute, therefore nothing should be added or removed from it so Paul was
determined to defend it. This is especially important today as the church must
prepare its congregation to confirm the gospel and give reasoned arguments of
its truths. The church has a responsibility to love and show compassion to
believers and non-believers. “Social concern includes condemning
unrighteousness as well” Erickson, 403). The church should show concern and
take action to condemn evil, wrong-dong, and call out corruption. “Amos and
several Old Testament prophets spoke out emphatically against the evil and
corruption of their day” (Erickson, 403).
Shepherding
Living
out a Christian worldview can be difficult when it is challenged with the world
view where there is no clear identity to form the morals and values of those
around you. Just remember each of us are part of that creation story. “For we
are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared
beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2: 10). The consequences of
living a life with a world view is an eternal separation from God, so in the
midst of that frustration remember there is a soul yearning to be quenched.
Jesus spoke of himself as the living water so “whoever drinks the water I give
them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a
spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4: 14).
Teaching
The mission of the church works through the hearts
of men, but world ideologies are at war with Christianity with falsehood and
lies that are “reprehensible because they not only harm those to and/or about
whom they are told, but they also blaspheme the vary character of God who is
truth” (Baucham, 41). False ideologies the church must confront are: Critical
Race Theory, Intersectionality, Social Justice, Conflict Theory, and Gender
Theory. These sociological, psychological, and political theories have permeating
our culture and making its way into Christ’s church. The teachings of the
gospel is threatened and scriptures are being misrepresented. This leads people
away from God’s grace and true salvation in Jesus Christ. “Values borrowed from
secular culture are currently undermining Scripture in areas of race and
ethnicity, manhood and womanhood, and human sexuality.” (Baucham, 235). These
dangerous ideologies corrupt moral values. The challenge for churches is to not
allow their influence to spread through biblical doctrines and principals.
Top 3 Strengths
Trustworthy, engaged, and personal are my top three strengths. I spoke
to friends and family and one thing I am not good at is receiving positive
feedback such as compliments. One of my friends from high school told me that I
was his “1st buddy” and that choosing him that year changed his
life. It brought him out of his shell and gave him an identity that led him to
become a pilot in the Air force. Even today, he still will make comments about
that day I chose to sit next to him on the bus in 9th grade. It was
not that I just sat next to him but it is where that one conversation led to
over a thirty year friendship. When you are in my life I am very engaged in
your life. I celebrate and mourn side by side people as I am engaged in my
relationships.
One
thing I am not is a gossip, so my family and co-workers will share their
experiences knowing that I will not reveal to anyone about who or what we
talked about. I will make suggestions on how to deal with a situation, but I
always say this is not my story but yours. I do get a lot of thank you for just
listening as that helps me think through it. My family has a bad habit of
talking about each other, but I do not like playing games, so they can trust I
will not open my mouth unless I have something of value to contribute. People
know I will speak truth that encourages but will not go against my belief and
faith in God. I always tell people they are in my prayers and they can trust
that I will bring their circumstances to the foot of the cross. Even those who
are not believers seem comforted by my words as I strive to live out my life
reflecting Jesus and that means I hold myself to a standard of being
trustworthy.
My
identity is enveloped by my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. When I
write my blogs they are personal. I
shared many stories of my life such as my journey through recovery of shingles.
I am part of a support group for those in recovery. I strive to help ease
people’s pain and how to deal with nerve damage. I personally hand write
postcards, usually 500, with MyFaithVotes encouraging Christian to get out and
vote. Voting is personal to me as 1 out 3 Christians don’t vote, so it matters
to me. I have been in education for twenty-five years. The families I deal with
on a daily basis is personal to me. When a parent is crying over their child
who is self-harming and tell me they have no one to talk to I am there, so it
is personal. The struggles of families are real so I am there in the middle of
their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual journeys.
Positive Experiences:
My
relationships with my grandmothers shaped much of who I am today, so they take
up two positive experiences. They could not have been more opposite, but I
spent my school days with my mother’s mom and summers with my father’s mom. I
do not remember my parents being in my life much before my middle school age
and what I do remember is that my experiences were not good times. My
grandmother, Edna, always read her Bible just before bed and I would see that
Bible laying on her chest and I am still
comforted by that memory. I remember the smell of her sheets, gardening,
and the many hours she spent just watching me act out skits in her driveway. My
grandmother, Helen, was not the hugging type, but she showed her love by
letting us get coins from her tin and get candy. She walked with us cousins,
took us to work with her, and watched us at the pool even though she couldn’t
swim. These two women showed me that actions speak louder than words because I
don’t remember either ever telling me they loved me, but I do know what love
looks like.
The most
significant positive experience is the birth of my son. Dylan healed so many
wounds in my heart than I can count. The great losses of my past washed away
the day he was born. My focus changed. I spent the last twenty years striving
to give him all that I felt was missing in my childhood. I sacrificed so he
could participate in his love of karate. I taught him to drive. I gave him my
time and valued the time we shared. I was present a his mom everyday and his
interests became mine. Even at twenty, he still wanted me to go with him to his
favorite convention. We have gone to this convention since he was in 5th
grade. He told me how much he loves the tradition. We have lunches and chat. I
just appreciate him and that God has used him to help me heal and grow in my
own walk with God.
Negative Experiences
The most
traumatic experience in my life was when I was in elementary school. My mother
married an abusive alcoholic who took us to a small town where abuse was deemed
a family issue so even the police returned us home every time we tried to
escape. When we finally did get out my mom took him back. He took my little brother
and me in one of his drunken binges. I was sexually abused and even through the
trauma God was there. He could have left us out in the desert to die. But for
some unknown reason he returned us where I was in the hospital. I had to
testify against him in court. He was sentenced to fourteen years. He was my
brother’s father so the negative experience has hung over our family even in
today. I see the hardship the brother has with his own identity knowing what
his father did to me even though he was just a baby when it happened. As a
family, we never went to counseling and my mom has never owned up to her part
in putting us in that situation in the first place. It took a long time for me
to forgive her for not protecting us from harm.
Middle school
was so rough that it was the path to my eating disorders. I was chunky and had
no self-esteem or any identity. I was ridiculed and when I think back I
remember not having one person to sit at lunch with. I hid in the library and I
dreaded days it was closed. Book were my friends. I remember failing PE because
I refused to undress. I was easy prey for bullies who tormented me everyday.
Then in 8th grade I saw some Oprah show about anorexia and bulimia.
I thought yes I could eat what I want and lose weight, so my battle over my
body image began. I did lose the weight, but I didn’t lose the bitterness or
anger of those who had taunted me. I became very mean and when I did finally
unleash I found myself suspended for fighting. I just could not harness all
those negative emotions productively.
Finally,
I am torn because I have taken responsibility for my own decisions, but up
through my twenties I stayed in a very emotionally abusive relationship.
Seventeen years of him breaking my soul down to the point that I felt is was my
fault he cheated. I was never good enough and when I finally did get my degree
in teaching and was an accomplished student I still felt worthless. My identity
was set in how he saw and treated me. I believed the lies and was so co-dependent
that I could not break away from that relationship even though eventually it
would have destroyed me. I had so much to live for but tried to take my life
twice. The pain of that relationship seemed to become normal and even
comfortable. I was seventeen when I became pregnant and thought having a baby
would fix it all, but a week before my eighteenth birthday she died of crib
death. It was the most devastating moment in my life. I was a shell of a person
for many years until I was able to break away from him and walk away into God’s
saving grace.
Summary
Working
through the steps to find my chazown I discovered my identity is in my faith as
I know God is my only constant. Life changes, but God does not. I found this
statement to be true, “where there is no vision to follow Jesus fully, good
dreams perish” (Groeschel, 101). I looked at the spokes of my wheel outlined in
the book. I looked at my relationship with God, people, financial health,
physical health, and my life’s work.
Building
relationships is not natural to me. Making conversation is not easy for me so I
plan on making myself more approachable and just be more friendly so people
feel welcomed so that is one I do need to work on is making connections with
people that matter. During this pandemic I focused on walking and then running,
so I took time to work through my food issues and how to balance eating and
exercising. I removed alcohol, coke, and energy drinks. Hard habits to break,
but I am working on making sure my body is healthy. As for financial health, I
just stopped spending and paid off my credit cards. Then reduced my credit
cards to two. I have built a small savings and a retirement fund, so I will
continue to watch my spending and making sure my tithing matters.
The two
biggest areas is what I need to work on for my future. What and where does God
want me to serve for the rest of my life. To keep my faith on fire for God. It
took me a long to walk in faith in accepting Jesus as my personal savior. “Here
I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the
door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me” (Revelation
3:20). I am in Central Academy to find my purpose in working in leadership
within the church. I do see myself leading a program, but I am still working on
the path God has laid out for me. I will continue to work on my chazown. I
still feel at my core is my identity with Jesus first. Then all other areas of
my life will fall into place as I rely on God to guide me to where I will be
the most satisfied in my work and relationship with God.
Purpose Statement
To help others find their identity in Christ with
heart and purpose to impact the world and reshape lives.
Epitaph
God
could only say she was fierce in her passion for winning souls for my kingdom.
Bibliography
Bauchman Jr., Voddie T. Fault Lines;the Social Justice Movement and
Evangelicalism's Looming
Catastrophe. SALEM BOOKS, 2021.
Erickson, Millard J., and L. Arnold Hustad. Introducing Christian Doctrine. Baker Publishing Group, 2015.
Feazel, Steve, and Carol M. Swain. Abduction:
How Liberalism Steals Our Children's Hearts and Minds. Christian Faith
Publishing, 2016.
Groeschel, Craig. Chazown: Define Your Vision, Pursue Your Passion, Live Your Life on
Purpose. Multnomah Books, 2010.
Life
Application Study Bible: NIV. Zondervan, 2019.
