As August draws to a close, I am reminded of how blessed I truly am by the friends and family experiences I had this month. I am also reminded of the melancholy feeling I get that I share with my best friend. We both experienced the deepest of losses and there will always be the “what if” thoughts in the back of our minds. Even 36 years later, the loss is still there but it is not so heavy or burdensome. I do pray for those who are heavy in their own loss. It can be debilitating. It can cause people to become angry and bitter. But, some turn their loss into great movements of compassion and protection over others.
“Get over it,” are words that are ingrained in my mind so I just buried my loss, but it does need an outlet because you can’t stay numb forever. Grief is a normal human response, but if you stay there then you are stuck. To find deeper healing as you sit in the loss and don’t run from it you will find that you can come to a peaceful assurance that no human can express or reach every crevice of your heart, mind, and spirit.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18)
“Blessed those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds,” (Psalm 147: 3).
God has a plan for you in the midst of intense grief and loss:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).
I think about how the loss is so raw today for the families who have had their children and/or loved ones tragically taken from their arms. No answers in the senseless. We see it so much we become numb especially to the pictures of young faces taken way too soon. What we don’t see is that room in the house that once was so vibrant and alive lays empty with the echoes of laughter to never fill it again. The pictures in the hallway marking another year abruptly stopping like an unfinished canvas. Those 1sts put on pause never to resume.
Grief so deep it feels like a knife slicing through the heart making your gut twist so hard you can’t stand up straight as your lungs are so winded you're unable to take a breath. The mental and emotional suffering is so deeply fierce causing guttural thunderous outward cries that rattle through the rafters reverberating in every direction causing anyone in earshot to be enveloped under its primal demand to be heard.
We are heard-Even in the most desperate confusing times I know God it there:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort (2 Corinthians 1: 3-7).
Time is the treasure I hold in my heart. Hope you can think back on the month and glean those nuggets of time and treasure them as we appreciate that we are not promised tomorrow.
“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4: 13-14).
There is a biblical quote in the Gospel of Matthew, “Where your treasure, there your heart will be also” (6:21). It means that your passions, priorities, and genuine attention are directed
towards what you value most in life. The verse encourages us to focus on spiritual “treasures in heaven.”
Counting my Blessings:
**my mom took me and my son, Dylan, out to lunch that we do every year, so it is a special time to share as my mom is still alive to enjoy her children, grandchildren, and soon to be great-grandchild
**my step-daughter bought us (for her dad’s birthday) Jeff Dunham tickets, so we made it a weekend stay-cation at the Planet Hollywood
**my son bought a ticket for me to attend a video gaming-world tournament called Evo. He surprised me as he participated in the tournament. The time you spend with your children is priceless especially feels good when my adult son still likes hanging out with me
**my husband bought tickets to see The Wizard of Oz at the Sphere (wish they had a local discount like the casinos used to do as these tickets are expensive-would only do this once-Back in the day Caesars had the Omnimax and would host schools for fieldtrips-it was one of the most memorable experiences I had as a kid/teen growing up in Las Vegas-This town should do more for locals
**all the posts, phone calls, invitations, cards, shoutouts, sweet words, hugs, and smiles happy to see me
**I live in America where I have so many freedoms that I don’t want to take them for granted
Every day this month I have been laser focused on being in tune with all the goodness that surrounds me instead of lamenting over the anger I felt in my last blog. The mixture of snapshots of the highs and lows of life. Prayers for you as you are either on the highest mountain or the lowest of valleys.
This song my Mercy Me seems so relevant today. When pain has you weak-may you find your broken hallelujah:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pwbRC-J56Y&list=RD2pwbRC-J56Y&start_radio=1