January 6, 2023
I began this week on a note of positivity trekking through
the beauty of the mountains. The peaks are amazing and you just feel
untouchable, but down in the valley is where I found myself on Tuesday. 1st
day back and I am told that one of our 9th graders died over
Christmas break. He already had multiple health issues and as his mom said “this
time his body just could not recover.” It is an overwhelming sense of sadness
and responsibility when I am asked to break the news to his classmates. I
couldn’t focus so I had to write out a script and the crisis management helped
me practice it. It is strange that you must be aware of your tone, speed of
speech (I speak fast naturally so slowing down to a few trial runs), and then
the pauses. I had to count to 20 between each of my sentences. It felt so
rigid, but when I was in the moment I could see why. The pauses allowed me to
compose myself as well. My emotions would have spilled over, and I would not
come across as someone the kids could come to cry it out. If I was a mess, then
they couldn’t feel they could be a mess. The teacher lost it, and I almost did
too. One small hiccup and I moved on from information mode to let’s talk about
emotions and let me help you process this information. I don’t know how people
in the professions who must inform families of a death do it on a regular
basis. It was so difficult, sad, and thankfully I held it all together to
support the students then cried afterwards. When I asked his mother about
making a memory box from the kids to the family was when we both lost it. He
has a younger brother and sister so goodness it was just a sad day and not the
way I wanted this week to start.
I know we have a great comforter, but a loss doesn’t mean you just get over it nor is there a timetable on how to get over a loss. The tributes we see each year of family and friends speak volumes as loss is still present. We just feel it more deeply some days more than others. I do pray as I am reading about other schools mourning the loss of a student
Prayers for all dealing with loss today. May your
heart find healing while your memories never fade.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name” (Psalm 147:3-4).
I was listening to music this morning and CeCe Winan’s
song “Never Lost” played. Her voice is just mesmerizing. She says, “let’s
worship” and she belts those notes “you can do all things but fail” and “I know
you never will.” This is such a wonderful version. She speaks truth into this
song. “The victory is already mine!” AMEN
Blessing to each of you this as we enter this new
year,
dreamsdontfade.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl8EzT0vAcs
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